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08/25/2005: "Mystery Solved"

My mother is a sweet, gentle, genteel Southern lady. She's quiet and reserved and mostly soft-spoken. On more than one occasion, actually for as long as I can remember, she's said, "Ah declare, Jennifer, I don't know where you came from." And while we both knew exactly where I came from, I confess that I wondered where my outspoken, sometimes outrageous (according to Mama) ways came from.

After seeing my mother on sedatives pre-surgery and pain killers post-surgery, the mystery is now solved. I had my first inkling when we were in the prep room before her big surgery on Thursday morning. I was trying to keep her amused and distracted and keep things light. The nurse came in and gave her a drug to help her "relax" before they wheeled her out. I said, "Well, I think now's the time that I could ask anything I wanted to and get a truthful answer. So, tell me Mama, how many times have you danced naked on a table in a bar?" (Note here that I'm fairly certain, and I'm not being naive, that my 71 year old mother has never been inside a bar, nor danced on any table anywhere, with or without clothes.) On any given day that would make her gasp and tell me to behave. Instead, she didn't blink or miss a beat and responded, "Twice. But they asked me not to come back until I lost some weight."

That was just the tip of the iceburg. The comments that came out of her mouth after her surgery, while they were still giving her the occasional shot of morphine and the more frequent darvocet, made me realize exactly where I came from. I'm my mother unplugged. I'm my mother on drugs. Glad we cleared that up....

Jen

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