Jessica Simpson, Manola Blahnilks and Procrastination

Jessica Simpson is living, breathing, and unfortunately singing, proof that it’s possible to achieve celebrity status as a pop star and not possess a shred of talent as long as you look good. I see her almost weekly on one mag cover or another when I’m standing in the grocery check out line. She always looks good—nice teeth and all that blonde hair and she’s skinny to boot. But yesterday I was in my car listening to the radio, enroute to pick The Girl up from day camp, and I actually heard her sing for the first time.

OMG. It was a remake of Nancy Sinatra’s These Boots are Made for Walking. I like that song. And I’m not biased against re-makes (I LOVE the remake of Roberta Flack’s Killing Me Softly). I was driving along, anticipating her fresh take on this song. At first, her vocals were so little-girl breathy that the music overpowered her, but I was still willing to roll with it (hey, I like Astrud Gilberto’s breathy, little-girl vocals). And then she started to really sing and I realized the instrumental overpowering her was a good thing. OMG (I know, I said that before, but…OMG) it was awful. I had to change the station. Jessica should stick with what she does best—looking good on mag covers.

RWA’s National conference is now less than a month away so of course, I’ve go to be thinking about what I’m going to wear (never mind the conundrum of why it matters what I wear for 2000 other women). I’m pretty set on the clothes front. I picked up the perfect black spandex cocktail dress a couple of months ago—decent brand, well-made, nice cut. It wouldn’t have broken anyone’s wallet to pay full retail but it had been marked down a gazillion times and I picked it up for…tah-dah…eight bucks. Is that a steal or what? But I want a new pair of KMDAFMQ shoes to go with it. So, I was doing a little on-line shopping yesterday – I swear it wasn’t revision procrastination…okay, well maybe it was a little procrastination on my part – and found just what I was looking for. A pair of Manola Blahnik’s at Neiman Marcus for only $475. I swear to you, they were lovely – simple, elegant with a stiletto heel, just what I wanted. And you know, the sheer perversity of paying $475 for a pair of shoes to wear with an $8 dress really appeals to me—sort of warped and twisted. Alas, my bank account can’t accommodate that perversity. Plus, if the dh ever caught wind of it—even though it’s my money—he’d stroke right on out. Hmm. Guess I’d better go back to where I bought the dress and troll for equally discounted shoes.

But first, I need to quit procrastinating and get back to work....

Jen

Jennifer on 06.30.05 @ 10:08 AM EST [Entry Link] [No Comments]

Ranting

Be forewarned that I'm on a rant. This situation in Aruba is driving me crazy. It has really struck a chord with me and it's making me nuts. Perhaps it's because many moons ago I was an honors graduate who went to the Bahamas on a class trip, partied hard, met a boy and but for the grace of God I could have been Natalee. Maybe it's because I have a daughter and the thought of ever knowing Beth Holloway Twitty's pain first-hand terrifies me. Or it could be the larger scale, less personal indignity that van der Sloot's political power and clout inflenced and botched the investigation.
Actually, I'm sure it's all of the above.

I don't think Joran van der Sloot is a monster like Dennis Raider or Scott Peterson, but I think things went awry that night and he knows what happened to Natalee, how it happened, and where her body is. This is the down side to having too much imagination -- I can all but hear the elder van der Sloot telling his son to keep his mouth shut and wait it out because without a body, the authorities have nowhere to go. And the two Surinamese brothers do not have political clout and must be terrified of the repercussions of telling the truth.

I've even tried to put myself in Anita van der Sloot's shoes. Her son is young, handsome, bright, with the rest of his life before him. His confession won't bring Natalee back, so why should two lives be lost? Because, dammit, it's the right thing to do. Because Beth Twitty deserves some peace and Natalee's memory demands it.

As long as they maintain their silence, I hope Natalee Holloway haunts the van der Sloots to the point of madness.

Jen

Jennifer on 06.29.05 @ 10:12 AM EST [Entry Link] [2 Comments]

Revisions and Ranger v. Morelli

I started revisions yesterday. Not exactly zooming through but getting it accomplished. I'm hoping for the zoom factor to kick in today. I worked through Memorial Day. I'll have to don riot gear to handle my family if I'm not through with these by 4th of July week-end. Another big incentive to move into overdrive is my friend's invited us to share a house at the beach next week. I can work on a proposal and my next project, a novella, while there, but the revisions need to be finished. Surf, sand, and a laptop.

Treated myself to the tenth Stephanie Plum novel on Sunday afternoon. (Yes, I'm too cheap to buy the hard cover.) I'm feeling poor Stephanie's pain. Ranger or Morelli? Morelli or Ranger? I'm not sure Stephanie's fans would ever tolerate her actually having Ranger. And Morelli's definitely the safter, long-term choice. Which of course only makes her/me want Ranger all the more. What's a girl to do?

Jen

Jennifer on 06.28.05 @ 11:48 AM EST [Entry Link] [2 Comments]

Me and Donna Reed

Today, I am the undisputed Queen of Suburbia. In between loads of laundry, I've had kids in and out of the house all day. Have I mentioned how much I hate laundry? It's one of those odious mind-numbing task that sucks out your brain cells by virtue of not requiring any. Hey, drinking margaritas on a beach doesn't require brain cells either and I'd infinitely prefer to squander mine that way.

So, I hate the laundry aspect, but love the kid aspect. I dig kids running amok, jumping on the trampoline, playing in the water sprinkler, doing art projects. I even made the little demon spawn chocolate chip cookies (and EVEN put in my good chocolate chips for the little ingrates). They sat on the front porch and munched hot chocolate chip cookies and drank cold milk and I had this total Donna Reed moment. It drove me back into the kitchen to eat a cookie and drink a beer. I'm pretty sure Donna wasn't chasing cookies with a beer, but I was compelled because me and Donna...well, that's just wrong.

Jen

Jennifer on 06.25.05 @ 05:17 PM EST [Entry Link] [No Comments]

Contests and Revisions

Okay. So, I'm finally back home for a while. The Girl and I left the day after returning from our backpacking trip and went to spend a few days with my mother. I am sadly, truly addicted to the Internet. I think it had something to do with my firewalls, but I couldn't log on while I was there. I was one step shy of curling into a fetal ball of withdrawal when we got home and I dialed in last night.

I was actually most anxious to download my 5 and 1/4 page revision letter. I won't start them until next week when The Girl has day camp, but I need digest time. I have to mull it over a bit before I jump back into the book. In the interim, I'm about half way through critiquing/judging unpubbed contest entries that are due in mid-July and then I need to work on my workshop for National.

Jen

Jennifer on 06.24.05 @ 11:51 AM EST [Entry Link] [No Comments]

Contests and Revisions

Okay. So, I'm finally back home for a while. The Girl and I left the day after returning from our backpacking trip and went to spend a few days with my mother. I am sadly, truly addicted to the Internet. I think it had something to do with my firewalls, but I couldn't log on while I was there. I was one step shy of curling into a fetal ball of withdrawal when we got home and I dialed in last night.

I was actually most anxious to download my 5 and 1/4 page revision letter. I won't start them until next week when The Girl has day camp, but I need digest time. I have to mull it over a bit before I jump back into the book. In the interim, I'm about half way through critiquing/judging unpubbed contest entries that are due in mid-July and then I need to work on my workshop for National.

Jen

Jennifer on 06.24.05 @ 11:51 AM EST [Entry Link] [No Comments]

Return from the AT Wilds

Back from four days of backpacking on the Appalachian Trail with The Girl and my stepfather. Altogether a great trip! We weren't mauled by a bear, bit by a snake, or struck by lightening. None of us fell off of a mountain, suffered a stroke, had a heart attack, or developed blisters. Instead we met some really nice folks on the trail and in the shelters. We also had a great time with one another climbing up and down mountains (some amazingly beautiful scenery), sleeping in the woods, and eating deyhdrated foods.

However, yesterday evening a hot shower, cold glass of ice tea, and my own bed were really lovely.

Will have pics up under the Stuff section later this week or early next week.

Jen

Jennifer on 06.20.05 @ 06:02 AM EST [Entry Link] [3 Comments]

I think I need to send a blanket e-mail to friends and family--the book is done and I'm back among the land of the real people. For now. There's probably another 30 pages yet to write in revisions, after my editor takes a look at it and I've had a few days away and gain perspective with a little distance. I am ready for a break from the keyboard.

God knows, someone mark this on a calendar somewhere, but I'm actually ready to clean my house. Ahem, that praticular affliction doesn't strike me often. And then there's all the other stuff I've let slide for the last couple of weeks.

I think I'll go sit out on the upper deck, finish my tea, and make a list...

Jen

Jennifer on 06.13.05 @ 07:58 AM EST [Entry Link] [No Comments]

Walking in the Rain

Sunday
6:30 a.m.
Light, misting rain.
DMB on the MP3.

No one else was out. Probably one of the most awesome walks I've had even though it's the same route I walk/run all the time. Really lovely with a soft rain sliding down my face.

Jen

Jennifer on 06.12.05 @ 07:36 AM EST [Entry Link]

Pitt Pass

I don't get Brad Pitt. He was on some mag cover this morning in the grocery store check-out lane and I thought the same thing I think every time I see him--I don't get it. I don't get his charm or attraction or sex appeal. I mean he seems like a decent enough guy and he's not gross and disgusting, but I'm not seeing that other stuff either. It sort of makes me feel like a sex-appeal moron, as in the rest of the world knows something that has escaped me.

I'm STILL working on this book. I've got about 30 pages to go. Please, everyone who reads this, pause to send me some writing vibes.

The Girl is psyched. We leave next week for a couple of days hiking on the Appalachian Trail. It'll be her first time out. How ready for a shower do you think she'll be after four days without one? She asked me where we changed into our night clothes. Me: "Well, you sit at the head of your sleeping bag and pull off your boots and you're ready for bed." The look on her face was priceless.

I still haven't made it to the hair salon. Yes. I still have the bush head, complete with roots. I think I'd better find the time in finishing this book to at least get a cut, because the hair thing's definitely working my sleep-deprived, over-caffeinated nerves. I've even had more than a fleeting thought about digging out the electric trimmers, slapping a number two blade guard on that sucker and shaving my own head. It would grow back. Unfortunately, I wouldn't look like Demi in GI Jane, so I guess I better make that appointment, huh?

Back to work...

Jen


Jennifer on 06.10.05 @ 10:27 AM EST [Entry Link]

Stoppin' by to Share the Joy

Things have been just a wee tense for me this week as I race to finish this book and juggle a bunch of other balls. And just when I need a bright spot, The Girl brings in the mail. OMG. I'm happy. DMB is gracing the cover of Rolling Stone...along with a pretty hot pic of David Beckham inside on some ad. But of course, Beckham pales in comparison to Matthews. See, here's the thing. Beckham's a pretty boy. Nice face, nicer body still, but I think it ends there. I'm not thinking I'd like to sign on for a conversation there. But, Dave (as in Matthews), he's the man. Ultimate. Smart, talented, sexy. The face, the voice, the music, and he comes with a brain. Ya know that game you play with your girlfriends over a pitcher of margaritas or a couple of Cosmopolitans--if you had one shot, one night, no questions asked, with celebrity of your choice, who would you pick? Sign me up for Dave.

Run, don't walk, to pick up your copy of RS today. Guaranteed to make you smile. Even if Dave doesn't do it for you, check out Beckham and Laird Hamilton.

And I am so sure I've had too little sleep and waaayyyy too much caffeine.

Jen

Jennifer on 06.08.05 @ 05:53 PM EST [Entry Link]

Show Me the Money

Show me the money...wait, there is no money, except what I'm going to shell out. My daughter is moving into Academy U11 soccer. For all you neophytes who don't know what this means (and I didn't until last week), it's one step above Recreational ball and one step below Select. Mother of God, you'd think we had the next Olympic gold player here. I'm looking around for Jerry Maguire to negotiate a deal. Oh, yeah, that's right, Jerry Maguire isn't real, it's just Tom Cruise before he lost his dignity, and apparently his mind, on Oprah. But, I digress.

There are club evaluations, tryouts, phone calls from clubs and coaches, conferring with other parents. Where will she get the best training? Will she know girls at this other club? Will she learn more on the B string at a higher ranked club or the A string at a secondary club? Should she show up for tryouts more than one night at her first choice, or should she hedge her bets and attend an alternate on another night?

Let me make it clear here--my daughter isn't the next Mia Hamm. She's a good athlete (God knows, that didn't come from this quarter) who brings height and a powerful kicking leg (nope, didn't get that from me either) and she really needs to work on her skill sets.

And this isn't just pushy parents being crazy. To quote The Girl, "Soccer is my life." Forget pressure on these lousy kids -- let's talk pressure on the parent. Great, like I want to make the wrong decision that might ultimately ruin the game and scar The Girl's psyche.

Quite frankly, it's making my brain ache -- always a bad sign. For Pete's sake, I even dreamed about this the other night. Now that is the height of annoying, when I'm dreaming about soccer clubs, ooops, gotta get this right, it's futbol clubs, for 10 year old girls instead of dreaming about me lounging on a sunny beach being served by a cabana boy. That's just wrong.

I'm giving my brain a futbol half-time...until tomorrow night... and getting back to work on this book where my heroine cop is undercover as a dominatrix.

Jen

Jennifer on 06.04.05 @ 07:37 AM EST [Entry Link]

New Cover

I hold my breath every time I have a new book coming out until I've seen the cover. Will the cover gods smile upon me or spit? IMO, they smiled! I think it's gogeous and really reflects the tone of the book, both sensuous and romantic. I'd love to hear what everyone thinks.

Jen

Jennifer on 06.03.05 @ 07:23 AM EST [Entry Link]

Old Rockers

I was doing some major eye-rolling this morning when I read that Rod Stewart, 60, and his latest eye-candy, model girl-friend (I can't remember her name but it doesn't really matter, does it), 34, are expecting...a baby. Come on. Give me a break. Rod was quoted as saying, "Of course, we wanted to start a family as soon as possible." Puh-leeze. Yeah, maybe before senility sets in or he slips on stage and fractures a hip. And is this to add to his collection of 5 kids that he already has? With three other women? I'm not thinking he's making all the soccer games and honor's days at school as it stands. Ya know, if some old guy wants to prove he's got enough jing in his pocket to attract a beautiful woman 26 years younger than he is, more power to him, but couldn't they leave the baby out of it?

What's up with that? Me? I hook up with a 20-something hottie, we're not going to be talking baby. We're going to be talking...hey, I better save that for the book I'm working on. But wait a minute -- I dont' have the fame or money to hook up with a 20 year old hottie. Dang. Okay, then we'll flip to the other side of the coin. If I hooked up with an 80-year old geezer with a fortune, we're still not talking baby. Ow. Busted again, I don't have the looks to attract the old guy. I suppose it's just as well that I'm already hooked up.

Rock on, Rod.

Jen

Jennifer on 06.02.05 @ 08:28 AM EST [Entry Link]